1. Write a scene showing a man and a woman arguing over the man's friendship with a former girlfriend. Do not mention the girlfriend, the man, the woman, or the argument.  (IRONEEEE~)

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Wow, I started this, got about two paragraphs in, and I can't do it. I just can't fucking do it. Make that TWELVE writing prompts.

I've got a new livejournal. If you want the name, comment this and ask for it.

Fuck it! Fuck all of it! Fuck fuck fuck!
Here's a little story. Okay? I'm going to write this on the fly, making it up as I go along, and while it's based in this, this isn't exactly how I've been feeling.
Oh, where stories come from-- the essence of angst...


"FUCK IT!" She shrieked at the top of her lungs, nails digging so deeply into her palms as she clenched her fists that they were leaving small crescents, beginning to pool with blood. "FUCK ALL OF IT!" Her voice almost broke with that last roar- it made her stagger, made her draw in breath short, quick, and shallow. "I WANT HER GONE! ALL OF HER, GONE! I WANT EVERY LAST MOTHER FUCKING TRACE OF HER OUT OF MY LIFE!" The roar was at no one in particular- those who might hear her would, and could, do nothing. She was commanding herself. The pictures of her ex-lover on the walls were sneering at her, a constant reminder. Furious tears welled up in her eyes, but she did not bring herself to wipe them away.
Things would have been so perfect. Things could have been so wonderfully perfect, if that bitch hadn't gotten in the way.
The rage made her tremble violently. She realized her hands were wet, but she did not unclench her fists. If anything, the realization tightened them.

They could have been happy. They really, truly been happy.

But there was no winning with the Red Queen. Do what she wanted, or not-- there was no winning. She had been bound to lose from the start, and she had put up a good fight-- but now the sweet, loving smile of her ex-lover was a stab to the chest, and the little reminders, things the Red Queen had given her only to obligate her to that wretched woman--
Blood smeared the walls as she tore the pictures down. It dripped onto the carpet as she snatched picture frames and smashed them against every surface within reach. She tore the necklace around her throat away from her, and threw it across the room, where it landed in a limp, bloodied pile.

Her hands seared with pain, and each action opened the wounds a little further. She tore the ring off her left hand so quickly it almost burned her, and she began to ransack the dressers and drawers all over the room. Clothing, jewelry, anniversary cards-- she couldn't stand the sight of any of it. Despite her mistakes, despite the fact it was, in the end, her own decision to end it all, it still burned as if the Red Queen herself was laughing at her. As if the Red Queen only allowed her to hold onto these things briefly, so she would know a sharper pain at their loss.

Well fuck her.

Blood stained her hands. Faint, smeared, and fading, it was still there, self inflicted, like all of this.

But her rage had yet to subside. She tore the clothes apart- she ripped the cards in half, broke picture frames so violently the glass scattered in all directions, and she struck every other little present against the walls and the hardwood of the uncarpeted parts of the floor until everything that had been implying she was sane, or happy, or normal in her room was broken, dented, stained, or destroyed.

She was not tearing apart her love, or tearing apart his image, or even tearing about the Red Queen. She was tearing up herself. She was destroying the reminders of her mistakes, destroying who she had been, the girl who did this. She was trying to destroy everything. She was doing her best to rid herself of all of it, so she would never, ever do this again. In the end, as she kneeled in the middle of the ravaged oasis that was her room, winded and panting from her own exertion, she stared coldly at the carpet that was obviously discolored by her hands. Just in front of her, as she looked down, was that ring again. That precious, beautiful ring, sterling silver, a beautiful stone, a deep, sincere feeling.

Her body was suddenly racked with sobs. She gathered the ring, cupping it in her wounded hands, and closed her fingers around it, bringing it to her lips to kiss. She whispered one last apology, to him, to herself, to everyone she had hurt, and slipped the ring into her pocket.

Fuck him.
He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.
And he needs to back out of my life.
He just needs to back off completely. He can't step back a thousand miles and then lean in when he thinks he has something to say.
You can't abandon me a dozen times over and still be in a position to suggest how I live my life.
Fuck. Off.

It's fucked.
No? Yes.
It's fucked.
I'm happy again.
And while regret weighs so heavily on my heart, I am relieved.
I am away from Mave. And I remember the days when I screeched about how Dallas could spend DAYS WITH NICK, AND GARY, AND, AND--
And where am I now?
Gary's spending tomorrow night over, because he has wed. off, and possibly thurs., too.
I'm the one spending days and days with them, huh?
And Dallas still calls me and we tell each other that we love each other: But Gary calls me, too, and.. I do really love him, too.
I'll always be there for Dallas. Always. I've promised myself, even more than him, that I'll make sure Dallas is happy in the end.
I'll fix what I've done to him. I will..
In the mean time.. is it wrong that Gary makes me so happy?
That the fact Gary will be with me in barely 24 hours is making me so squeely?
And if I got to see Dallas right now, I know it would be hard. I know that we would tentatively hug, and kiss, and whisper a thousand apologies for the way it's turned out.. and hope for a better future..
But with Gary.. I can be happy, without the strain.

And it's bad of me.. It's bad that I've already slept with Gary. We've been together.. a week, tomorrow.. and already? Fuck. We're really only counting it as Wed. of last week because that's when we first.. y'know.
Fuck.
The guilt will stay with me.. but this happiness?
Is it wrong? It's a happiness I don't deserve.. but I did all this so I could be free of the grip of Mave.
D tells me Mave said, in response to this, "You'll be back together by Christmas." I think it's odd she'd choose that date, maybe give herself some extra time to be right? Maybe she meant, in general, within the year?
But it can't happen like that. Even though it would be nice.. it can't. Because SHE'S still there.
And I'm sorry I hurt Dallas... but I'm settling a little too smoothly into this relationship with Gary, and it's.. fucking wonderful.
It's fucking wonderful, and he's wonderful, and I am.. so.. happy. Things fit like this.
I know I set the pieces on FIRE before they started to slip into place, but..
They're getting there. I can see it. I went about this the wrong way, but it feels right.
I.. don't feel sorry for Adria at all.

Y'know, you're right.
I don't know who I am anymore, either.
Maybe I have changed into something that neither of us will ever understand.
Maybe I really am like this. This is just who I am.
I can't get away from my mistakes.


And I.. I still love Gary.
Does that make everything even worse?

The last post I made, before this horrible, horrible week, makes me burst into tears all over again.
"Where's my baby?"
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I am so sorry.
I want to kill myself.
I am so fucking sorry.

Hate Me by Blue October
(Verse 1:)
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space
(Chorus:)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
(Verse 2:)
I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
(Chorus)
(Refrain:)
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”
(Chorus)

Marking this day as a reminder.
The beginning of something new..
Overshadowed with regret that we both know will fade..
How did I fall in love with Gary? Of all people?
I don't know. But I did.
Today, it officially starts.